Monday, October 24, 2011

Come Out of the Hallway, Little Girl

In case you missed it, you might want to read The Hallway...this post is in response to it.  

Out of the hallway, little girl,
You will run.  You will love, you will live, you will be.

Out of the hallway, little girl,
You will know your own beauty, potential and grace.

Out of the hallway, little girl,
You will find god's love, care and virtues.

Out of the hallway, little girl,
You will realize your Grandma's love for you, despite her problems, her addictions, her pain.

Out of the hallway, little girl,
You will come to know depression, sadness and escape; come to know it is not your fault.

Out of the hallway, little girl,
You will see god's love, the belief that you are perfect as you are, in this moment, simply because you exist, perfect, in god's love.

Out of the hallway, little girl,
You will find safety, security, in your own power, your own decisions, your own life.

Out of the hallway, little girl,
You will know tenderness, hugs, arms outstretched.

Come, out of the hallway, little girl.
It's not about you.
It's never been about you.
You couldn't have been or done more.
You were already perfect, loving, good.

Come, out of the hallway, little girl.
You are safe.
You are loved.
You are enough.

Come, out of the hallway, little girl.
Your life is waiting.


Me, as a little girl...



This post is in response to The Hallway, written about growing up, in my Grandma's house, and even, I dare say, getting stuck in that same mental state as an adult, as a parent, or as a lost little girl.  I was making dinner this evening, still lost and a bit unnerved about The Hallway post, when it occurred to me I could write what I wanted to hear, wanted to feel, wanted to say, to that little girl in me now, to that little girl then.  This post is unedited, unscripted, from that creative place of healing.  Inspired by Just Write.  



11 comments:

  1. Beautiful, haunting post. I felt such compassion for that little girl (you). On a happier note....you were an ADORABLE child!! :)

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  2. I read them both and am so glad you made it out of that hallway!

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  3. I relate to this on so many levels. Beautifully written poem.

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  4. @Kristi--Thanks! I loved the yarn...I think it was my thing back then, well, that, and the velour sweater...lol. You actually spoke exactly right--COMPASSION--it's not something that comes naturally to that little girl in me, so to literally, and freely re-write the story, the emotion, was a very powerful experience. :)

    @CJ--You give me more credit than I give myself, because I still find myself trapped in the hallway, but it is so nice to be validated for the times I do make it out, so thank you.

    @Cheryl--Thank you. For your relating...my heart is open to you...

    Thank you, ladies, for reading, and responding. I truly appreciate your time, your thoughts, this connection. :)

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  5. Holy crap. Thank you.

    I came over here because you commented on my blog so it was a courtesy call. And this is what I get.

    Tears and relief and laughter and beauty. I have been in a bad place for several days recently, haunted by memory, haunted by toxic shame, fear. Things I thought I had exorcised. Things I thought I was "over." Time to call my therapist.

    There are very few things that help me when I'm here, in this place of fear and shame. This, what you have written here, is one of them. Bookmarking. And subscribing. Thank you.

    (P.S. I'm posting from my Curiosity Cat wordpress ID, but the blog you'll recognize is my Contemplativecat.me site.)

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  6. Contemplative Cat! Yes, well, let's consider it even then...because I have to tell you that your blog post about god having no plan for us...did the same thing for me. :)
    I can't afford therapy, so this is it. I write about shame and fear often...you might want to check out some of my first few posts...a lot there...I am humbled with the thought that I have helped in some way. I know what this post has done for me, even in the few short hours of its existence, so I thank you for telling me, for honoring yourself and for sharing this connection. But, seriously, we're even now. I'm still talking about your god post...so maybe I still owe you... :)

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  7. There is no owing. Only love and embracing and community. I actually just posted a link to this on my blog. I think the roots of your shame and fear may be different than mine. But the symptoms sound the same. And I'm sorry. It sucks.

    By the way, I can't afford therapy either. I also can't live without it. I went to her for something I *thought* was unrelated to the abuse in my past, and for which money ended up being no object--I was falling apart, though no one could see it from the outside yet. I couldn't afford NOT to go to therapy.

    Of course it was totally related to the abuse. Very. Joyce changed my life. I only wish I had done it sooner. Now I continue to go and it ranks nearly with groceries on my list of things that make the budget. Also, she's very understanding when we can't pay for a while, and accepts payment plans. Fortunately, we're all caught up with her at the moment.

    Anyway... writing is excellent therapy as well. And love, and compassion. We'll be here for each other, we can be part of each others's grace (I wrote about grace on my blog too--it's in my list of favorite posts). And it will be good.

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  8. When I had my career job, I saw a therapist weekly. My breaking point was much as you describe, mostly on the inside. Externally functioning. Inside, a whole other story.

    I think, no, I know, this healing I am doing now, is where my soul needs to be. I never thought I had this much creativity in me, and what a beautiful blessing it is, to simply sit, reflect, and write the story.

    Thank you for welcoming me into this community, to which I am reluctant to feel like I might belong, but I suppose that's another part of my story too.

    Living in grace and gratitude for these moments (and for the link from your blog...thank you.) :)

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  9. So, so beautiful. I may try this approach. Writing what I wanted hear.

    Thank you!

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  10. I think that is a wonderful idea to write that little girl out of the hallway. It helps our inner children to hear that the things that happen to them and around them are not their fault. That, yes, in fact, they deserved better than what they got. Hugs to that frightened little girl. Hugs to you.

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  11. Thanks Melanie and Mel! I can't begin to adequately express the healing process in this technique. Very powerful and very sweet. Thanks for reading! :)

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